I'm Not Who I Was

I've thought a lot over the past year about who I used to be. I wish I could say that I was someone to be proud of. Sure, there were moments when I reflected the image of someone so much greater than myself. But those times when I didn't respond the right way, say the right things, or "walk the talk" sometimes leave me ashamed, embarrassed, and defeated.

There isn't always an opportunity to say the words I'm sorry. Those words can't change the reality of a who I was then and the choices I made. Sometimes the best way to move forward is to show the change rather than just say there was one.

I hope the people around me now see a different person than I used to be. I want to be genuine in my words, confident in my actions, and value the thoughts, opinions, and emotions of those around me.

I think the words in the song below say it best...

(I'm Not Who I Was - Brandon Heath)

I wish you could see me now

I wish I could show you how

I'm not who I was

I used to be mad at you

A little on the hurt side too

But I'm not who I was

I found my way

to forgiving you

Some time ago

But I never got to tell you so

I found us in a photograph

I saw me and I had to laugh

You know, I'm not who I was

You were there, you were right above me

And I wonder if you ever loved me

Just for who I was

When the pain came back again

Like a bitter friend

It was all that I could do

To keep myself from blaming you

...I was thinkin maybe I

should let you know

that I am not the same

But I never did forget your name

Hello

Well the thing I find most amazing

Is amazing grace

Is the chance to give it out

Maybe that's what it's all about

I wish you could see me now

I wish I could show you how

I'm not who I was

Lucky for me I learning the meaning of Grace. What it means to need it, give it, and receive it.